there was that one pit-of-stomach moment
when she turned the calendar to October 25th
(just 2 months til Christmas!)
but it is just October, plenty of time
for now just enjoy the lazy days of autumn
the cooler weather and changing leaves
in the background
or is in the back of her mind?
there is a faint
click click click
kind of like a clock ticking
but more like the sound
when a roller coaster starts up that first hill
when the combined feelings
of dread and anticipation
threaten to take over
Halloween is a welcome distraction
happy little faces at the door
but the very next day
the calendar tells the story
the first day of November
oh no how did this happen
it can't be November already
she is not ready
but it is too late
she is at the precipice
teetering on the edge
falling
tumbling down down
like Alice in the rabbit hole
or Dorothy's house in the tornado
everything is going by so fast
is that pumpkin pie she smells
what are all those colored lights
finally she ends up
coming to an abrupt halt
in the bog
between Christmas and New Years
she looks around disoriented
and finds herself surrounded
by crumpled wrapping paper
and empty gift boxes
she turns to get her bearings
the house is quiet
is that a Christmas tree?
What happened to Thanksgiving
and did I miss Christmas?
the dishwasher hums in the background
washing away the last remnants of Christmas dinner
her eyes fix on a plate of cookie crumbs
on the hearth left from santa
the one lone sugar cookie with sprinkles looks so tasty
she reaches for it, takes a bite, and thinks
is this all there is left of Christmas
one stale sugar cookie?
the couch looks inviting and she is so tired
as she lays down she thinks
it is just as well she missed it
she doesn't like this time of year much anyway
all that cooking and shopping
and worrying about money
and wondering if anyone will like their gifts
she wakes up, confused, and looks around
instead of piles of opened presents
the clean laundry is stacked up
around her on the couch
where is the tree
and the leaves outside are just turning colors...
was it all a dream?
is there still time to make the holidays
fun and memorable and meaningful?
she finds some paper and starts making a list
the menu for Thanksgiving dinner, a grocery list
maybe some homemade gifts this year?
and baking with the kids
sugar cookies with sprinkles
lots of sugar cookies
~Susan Tidwell 2009
